The Situation
“Mom, can we go see Grandma tonight?” That was my queue to get up from my seat in the theater and head straight to pick up my daughter. I wrote her back and said, “Yes, but I need to pick you up early.”
Two hours prior, I had dropped my daughter off at a friend’s house. Parents and grandparents would be attending, and my daughter was 16, so I didn’t heavily scope the party. Plus we would only be 10 minutes away.
The Plan
Two weeks before this incident, my daughter and I talked about creating a safe word, or a safe sentence. She would use this phrase when she was with friends and wanted to leave, or was in trouble. We had it mapped out that I would write back like everything was ok and request that she come home early. Of course, while I am texting her, I would be on my way.
Thankful For This Idea
On this day I was thankful that we had discussed this issue beforehand. This one-parent tip made a major difference with my daughter and peer pressure. When I picked up my daughter she told me about how they were all wanting to smoke weed and she didn’t want to be a part of it.
The Feeling
Deep down, when I received this message, I started to freak out inside. However, since we had discussed this prior, I was confident that my daughter knew what to do. I wanted to ask her a million questions to know exactly what I was heading into, but I knew that she would be thinking things through and acting appropriately. I knew I had to trust her and would get the story from her when she was safe.
Parental Tips:
Phrase Tip
- These phrases can be one word, a question, a phrase, or anything the two of you will remember.
- Create different ones for each child.
- Take it a step further and create words and phrases on the severity of the situation.
* Can we go to Grandma’s tonight? It would mean a pickup. (This makes sense because her Grandma doesn’t live near us. So it would be a phrase that she would not randomly say.)
* Do you like Red, White & Blue? This would mean red and blue lights to signal for the police. (The great thing about teens is that they always come up with weird phrases so this would not be out of the blue.)
Some kids, such as my youngest, believes that he will never need to use this tip, however, knows that he can use it anytime he needs to.
Tracking Tip
My last tip is to always have a tracking device on your child. This is not because you do not trust your children; it is because you do not trust the world. I use Life360 and Apple Location. With Life360, the premium memberships come with a Tile. These can be thrown in shoes, purses, and jackets, and you have a double tracker when your child goes out. (I am not an affiliate, only a user.)
A Parent To Parent Note
Of course, this is an article to explain what I do. These are not our actual phrases. So Moms don’t judge me thinking I am giving away all my secrets. I only want to help. Give This Mom’s Heart: Approached a read as well.
Let me know if these tips helped or if you have any other tips you would like to share. I would love to write more on this topic to help other parents.