The “Power of the Pause” is a super important rule in my life. It allows me to think through life thoroughly, showing me a picture of what a situation could look like. I have the option to change my reaction for a better outcome of a situation.
The Power Of The Pause During Frustrating Times
The teenage years may be harder than the toddler years. They know things, however, they have a lot still to learn about the world. They are trying to set their independence even when life is not letting them. Teaching them “The Power of Pause” is hard, but setting an example may be exactly what they need.
As my daughter backed the new car from the garage, she kept looking forward. Common sense would tell her that she needs to look backward when backing up. (She didn’t want to hit the items that were close to the front of the car.) I didn’t want to tell her right away to look back since she was still learning how things work and this could be a valuable lesson. What I failed to notice was that she was about to hit her Dad’s truck until I heard the scratching of metal on metal.
My first reaction was to become frustrated, which is natural. I knew I shouldn’t yell at this moment. I frustratedly told her to put the car in park and move from the driver’s seat. Inside, I was starting to bubble with anger. It is my brand new car! I moved to the driver’s seat and repositioned the car carefully to not scratch it further.
I sat there a moment while I waited for her to get back into the driver’s seat, I took a deep breath and asked God to help me through this day. I then started the process of the Pause.
* Why was I so mad?
1. It is a new car.
2. It should be common sense to look backward when going backward.
3. I wanted our driving time to go smoothly.
* What can I do to calm down?
1. Say a prayer.
2. Know that she is learning and my years of driving give me an advantage over the common sense I said earlier.
3. Explain to her the right way to back the car up.
* What is the worst-case scenario if it happens again?
1. She hits a car and has to explain to the owner what happened. That is a lesson right there.
2. We have insurance, even though I do not want my premiums to go up.
* What is the lesson from this?
1. She NOW knows to look forward and back when she is backing the car up.
2. Even if she is frustrated that I am telling her what to do, keep being vigilant.
I am not going to say I was perfect in this situation, however, I did take a moment to pause before I had a bigger reaction. The old me would have started to freak out and yell. I may have told her that she could not drive and bench her for the rest of the day.
The Power Of The Pause For Healthy Goals
This year I will be using “The Power of the Pause” when trying to lose weight. There will be a lot of thinking through what I need to do, rather than only going on emotions.
My goal is to think about what I want to eat…
*Does it fit my goals for health?
*Does it fall into my NO category?
*Is it the right portion?
The other contributor to this thought process is working out. When I feel like I do not want to keep working out or want to skip, I am going to pause and think about :
*Why do I want to skip?
*Does it contribute to my goals?
*What is the best thing that can happen if I do workout?
*How did you feel when you used to work out?
Eventually, as I practice these thoughts, they will be common to me. I will start to make the right choices without the long thought process.
The Power Of The Pause For Observation
The last “Power of the Pause” is being in the moment.
We stood in front of the ocean. The sun was going down and my family was there. This would be the last winter in California with the amazing view I was witnessing. The kids were playing and joking with each other. Lurinda and Mom were taking pictures of the beach, and my husband was hugging me watching the sun go down with me. It was an amazing feeling of the wind blowing, it was a bit chilly, however, my heart was calm and content.
These will be the moments I will remember when my children are grown, living life for themselves, with children of their own. They will remember these moments when I am gone from this life. “The Power Of The Pause” is so important to do, and teach others, which is why I am sharing this with you.
If you want to read more about my coping techniques in life, please give Mental Health: Coping With The Hard Moments In Life a read.
Do you have a coping mechanism that would help others? If you would like to share please send me a message via the contact page or leave me a message on my Instagram.