“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling, and beneath each feeling there is a need. When we meet that need rather than focusing on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause not the symptom.”
Youth Dynamics
Life can throw each of us tough curve balls. This is unfortunately true for me at the moment. Even though I can not share all of the details, I can share how I am coping through these tough times. I refuse to let these times get me down and take me out.
To understand these coping mechanisms, you must understand a little about my situation. In this case, it has to do with a family member who is dealing with mental health problems. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do at the moment but to help my family work through the issues alongside me.
Keep A Busy Mind
Sitting around thinking everything through can make things worse. Most of us think about issues so much that we start to blame ourselves for life that is completely out of our hands. Even if we had done something to create the problem, that is in the past. There is nothing we can do about it now. Once the situation is at a calm point, we can re-evaluate what was done wrong. Only then can we move forward and make the changes necessary.
Three Ways To Keep A Busy Mind
- Take care of the things that matter around you at the current moment: Clean the house, go to work, and/or write about things that have nothing to do with your situation. Go on a field trip with your family members that is educational. Let the brain have deep stimulation while learning. For me, right now I am writing about my coping skills for this situation.
- Listen to high-energy music, loudly. Concentrate on the music and sing, or rewrite the lyrics of a song. This was a coping mechanism I used when I was a child when I had issues I could not control. Suggestion: if you wear earpods be sure to take sound breaks. For me, the louder the music, the better I feel. However, I do not want to have permanent earbuds when I am older.
- Workout: Take a walk in nature. Let the views sweep you away in a story. Concentrate on the beauty around you; the colors of the flowers, the smoothness of the leaves, and the ripples in the water. If you are a gym person, create an entire new workout. Work out with the intensity of your feelings. *Read this article from the Mayo Clinic: Depression and Anxiety: Exercise Eases Symptoms to understand the health benefits of working out during hard times when your anxiety and depression can be an issue.
Everything on my list has to do with concentration and focusing on anything and everything that has nothing to do with the situation at hand.
Keep A Healthy Body
The body is as important as the mind to keep healthy during times of stress. Our bodies present stress differently, however, negative stress is never good for the body. These are little tips I use myself to deal with stress. Remember that when the body has chaos, it creates chaos in the mind, and chaos in the mind will create chaos in the body.
Six Ways To Stay Healthy
- Eat Healthy Small Meals: Metabolism slows down during stressful situations. This can cause stomach aches, intestinal problems, and the need to NOT want to eat, or the need to want to eat everything. Small amounts of nutrient-packed foods will help to ease symptoms. *Read this article from John Hopkins Medicine: Tips to Managing Stress Eating.
- Stay Hydrated: Keeping your body at the optimal performance for whatever comes is super important. Hydration helps with clarity and focus. A dehydrated body also causes stress, so why add more stress to the situation?
- Cry In Small Moments: Do not shy away from the emotions, however, do not dwell on them. As I said earlier dwelling on our problems can cause us to feel worse. Let the tears out, then move on. Find one of the other coping mechanisms and proceed with it.
- Talk To Someone You Trust: In my life, I have three people who I can tell my whole truth to. These people help me to see different sides of the issue, direct my thoughts in a different direction than my problems, and ease my feelings towards the problem. The most important part of their job is that they listen, or help as I need it.
- Sleep: This is the most important step in staying healthy. Without sleep, there is no clarity on emotions, thoughts, and problem-solving. As I discussed earlier, focus and concentration are managed by sleep as well.
- PRAY: I am not sure about your religion, spirituality, or such, however, I believe that prayer helps to ease every problem I have. Concentration on Jesus is needed. When times are the toughest, I try to think about the trials Jesus had. Are my problems better or worse than His? I am sure they are nothing in comparison.
There will always be hard times in life. How we deal with it will determine if we come out the other side better or worse. I am choosing to use my “steps” and move forward. No one gets out of this life without stress, so let’s move through it gracefully.
Please read Teen Connection: The Cup Of Hot Chocolate to learn how I connect with my teenagers.
Do you have a coping mechanism that would help others? If you would like to share please send me a message via the contact page or leave me a message on my Instagram.